Well as you can tell by me updating my blog today, I didn't have the laser eye surgery done on Wednesday. The main reason being that when I got home on Tuesday evening the house was full of dust. Our refurb has started and what a mess! I am not sure what I was expecting but I had no idea it would be so bad. Having said that the builders did try and clean up but such fine dust is difficult to clean. What the house used to look like...................
I was not feeling at all comfortable having my surgery done and then being in a dusty environment for my recovery. When it comes to eyes I think you really need to be very careful to give them the best opportunity to recover quickly and being in such a dusty environment is not recommended. So it has been rescheduled to the 15th of August. Whew! What is looks like now.................
Additionally I have had another trying week with so much going on and as I feared, it was reflected in my weigh in on Tuesday evening. I have gained 2.8 pounds! I have to say I wasn't surprised just very disappointed. With 2 nights of going out and not controlling my drinking or eating this is price I have to pay. At least I recognised what is causing it. I was encouraged to let it go, taking into account this phase of the programme is about maintaining weight and not about reducing it. I said it is also not about gaining it either. So I am trying not to beat myself up about it and get back on track. I am determined to lose it over the next few weeks and really start taking better control of my emotional eating habits. With some of the pressure off now as the building work has now started and not having the eye surgery, I can concentrate on managing myself a little more.
Disappointment is an interesting emotion to deal with ! You not only feel let down, angry but sad all at the same time. And the worst part is I have no one else to blame but MYSELF. I think this type of disappointment is even worse! But this is life - real life - as things are bound to come unstuck sometimes and mistakes will be made. I think the true test is to see how one handles these knocks in life. It is a minor thing but I could make it a huge issue but what would be the point. The truth of the matter is if I picked up 3 pounds a week for 2-4 weeks I would be worried. In the scheme of things reducing my weight by 5 stone and then gaining 2.8 pounds is not really so bad. It is not so much the weight which has affected me but more the fact I am still not in control of my eating habits! Welcome to the REAL world! You do sometimes think that because you have been through this whole process you problems and habits have been CURED or resolved. NOT SO! You just have the knowledge and the will power to manage them better - or so I hope. A bit of a wake up call me thinks! So today and for the last couple of days I have been back onto my food packs and limiting my intake of my triggers which are fruit, alcohol and going out! But I did spoil myself by buying 4 fantastic tops at a great sale and they fit beautifully - still a size 16! Really would like to work towards a size 14 but finding it much harder than I thought it would be! I may decide to go onto a 'development' (4 weeks of abstinence) session after my route to management programme finishes. Not sure if you are allowed to but if I can I think it will refocus me and give me the extra boost I need to get the last stone off!
Well that's it from me this week! I am now off to buy some radiators, doors, extractor fans and a whole load of other goodies for the house. Thank you for all your calls and e-mails of encouragement!
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