Been there, done that and bought the bloody T Shirt!

Well hello there! Sorry that I have not been able to update until now but life has been UNBELIEVABLE! Busy, busy and busy!!

Unfortunately I can't say that it has done my weight management any good. Gained another 4 pounds so a total of 10 pounds have crept back onto my body and boy can I feel it! UGHHHHHH! I know why it has happened - BAD PLANNING! I can't emphasise enough how much planning can help to keep the wolves at bay. I certainly have learnt that lesson now. Oh well back onto 2 bars a day and talking about exercise yet again. I have been running all over the country staying in fantastic hotels, training in great venues with fabulous food so no wander why I have gained weight. Having said that this is exactly when I should have planned better. I bought the bars in anticipation of a busy month and then promptly forgot them home! Not very useful sitting in a cupboard me thinks! You have to ask whether I wanted to leave them at home subconsciously - well the honest answer is no! I was so annoyed with myself as I did it twice and then out of frustration decided to pig out! Some things NEVER CHANGE!

After our fantastic weekend away which was lovely and both of us were totally pampered and relaxed by the end of it. Then my life became hectic to say the least. We had the last finishing touches to do on the house before parents arrived. I had 11 days of training to do all over the UK and still had to run a business, do 2 days a week at a contract in Surrey and get my parents settled in amongst having to attend some business training on their first weekend in the UK. No pressure then! My own fault as didn't plan it very well but then life can be like that! Having said that I really do work well under pressure I just don't eat well under pressure.

I have been trying to eat smaller portions of whatever I was eating and most of time did ok. The drinking has come back to haunt me especially on long boring train rides after a stressful day of training. This lowers your resistance to the things you shouldn't be eating such as crisps, chocolate and other naughties! With my parents having moved in our eating habits, food supplies and drinking sessions have all changed and caused havoc with my routine. I just need to get a grip and some control back over what I am doing and make time to plan and be sensible about how much I can handle at one time. I also haven't been to LL weekly sessions as have either been in another location in the UK or at a business function. NOT GOOD! It really does make a difference if you go each week as keeps you accountable and helps you to manage what is happening to you especially in times like this. I will be going back next week even if I have put on more weight, at least I can get it under control again. All my clothes are still fitting just a little more snugly and with winter having already arrived I think it may be a great idea to get focused.

Hope all of you are doing well and life has not been as hectic as mine has been of late. But I am now back in the land of the living and hope to catch up with you soon. Will try and update more often and best wishes to all of you who have been in contact - hope you do really well on the programme! Keep me posted on your progress. xxxx

Steady as we go...

Well hello everyone. Life has been HECTIC this past month! What is new? Is it just me or are things just getting more stressful and our lives getting busier by the year? Do I need a holiday or what???!!! I think with a non event Summer we have just experienced I need to find something to give me a feeling of being on holiday! So have booked a weekend in the New Forest and Bournemouth as have never been and they are close but far enough away.

Since my last entry at the end of August things have been very much UP and DOWN. This is life I suppose! I reduced my weight by 4 pounds at the beginning of the month and now have put back on 3 of those pounds! So overall still up by 5 pounds since I went onto Core Management. This stage of the programme is totally voluntary as in you go to the weekly meetings if you wish (free of charge) and buy food packs if you wish, so am entirely self reliant. SCARY!!!!!!! I am finding that life is taking over yet again and I am having to keep an eye on my eating habits as those little devils keep creeping back into my life! Ugh.. by now you would have thought I had a handle on some of it but surprise - no I don't! What I do have however is a better understanding of why it is happening, recognising it for what it is and being able to do something about it straight away!

It is fundamental for me to keep going to the weekly sessions as it is the only thing that is keeping me accountable. This may not be the same for everyone as some may feel they are no longer benefiting from the sessions but I am and NEED to keep going as I do not feel 100% assured that I am in control of my eating habits. Sometimes I really don't feel like going as I know I have picked up weight,however this is exactly when I need to go to face it and say OK now lets get back on track. This can be difficult even for someone like me who is really confident about things, as you really feel disappointed in yourself for letting the weight slip yet again! I have these great days where I don't feel like food and have to remember to eat, and then other days where I could eat everything in the house! Definitely attached to emotional eating of all kinds! It is a skill to recognise it BEFORE you put the food in your mouth and not afterwards when you then feel really rubbish yet again!

I so seriously need to go and exercise. Doing Pilates once a week is having no effect but I thoroughly enjoy it so combined with a bit more exercise I think will be the answer. How long have I been TALKING about doing additional exercise and yet I STILL HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Familiar behave me thinks to when I wanted to do something about my weight but kept talking about it but never did anything about it!!!!! At the moment I am struggling to keep the weight off never mind wanting to lose and additional stone! Get a grip I say to myself on a daily basis and then life takes over again!!! ENOUGH ALREADY - chatter box is going full speed. With family soon descending on me I really need to be focused and actively going to the gym and looking after myself as October is going to be a VERY busy month. I will be doing a major amount of training programmes and work load is heavy as well as parents arriving and moving in. We are still working on the finishing touches to the house so should all be sorted by early October.

Well that's all the ranting and raving from me for this month - it has been difficult but at least I am still on tract, eyesight is wonderful and always moving forward. Hope you are all doing well and that life is treating you well. Let me know how you are getting on and any advice would be GREATLY appreciated! Until next time......xxxxx

Catch Up!

Wow a whole month has already gone by - where did August go? It probably has something to do with being so busy! August has been a month of up's and downs! Weight is up and moral is down......but I am dealing with it. Living out of a microwave for 2 months has not been easy on the weight maintenance side of things as it has been very difficult to find decent low fat microwave food! Additionally we have been going out more often not only because we are sick of the food but also to get away from the house! The refurb has been stressful to say the least and this has just added strain to an already difficult time. We ended up firing our builder and having to undo a lot of what he had done! What is wrong with this industry that you can't find someone who can do the job that they say they are going to do. Anyway my darling husband has been FANTASTIC and has taken up the challenge with his friends and a little help from a great tradesman (found one on a recommended tradesman's website!) so the kitchen is now nearly finished. We have been able to move back in this weekend and really happy as had our first home cooked meal yesterday - nothing like your own cooking (as long as you are relatively good at it - I am still learning!) The downstairs bathroom is looking wonderful even though the shower has a mind of its own so need to sort that out. The upstairs bathroom is well on its way to being completed so all is well.

I can't say that for my weight however! I have picked up a total of 6 pounds over the month! As if the refurb was enough of a stress, I then finally had my laser eye surgery done on the 15th. This was great for the most part with a few hick up's along the way but mostly the best thing I have ever done. However due to not being able to watch TV, read, exercise and being very sensitive to light, I spent the better half of 5 days eating myself silly. So that explains the weight gain and so now that my eye sight is improving daily, I can start concentrating on dropping the weight I picked up. Funny thing is when I could feel that I had put on the weight I wasn't so keen to go to our weekly classes and face myself! Silly billy! It was a bit tough as for two weeks I didn't go due to work commitments, and these were the weeks I really struggled with myself emotionally. Just shows I am not ready to do this on my own. The weekly meeting does keep me focused and encourages me to keep going and really helps to make myself accountable to myself! So now straight back on the straight and narrow! I really would like to get down to a size 14 by December and this is definitely obtainable so need to dig deep and get focused.

With such lovely weather and now being able to do exercise again so I am putting an exercise plan together so to get my energy levels up. Decided to do Pilate's again, swimming and gym for now so hopefully that will help to maintain my weight, increase my metabolism and help with the stress levels. In the coming month I want to concentrate on this and building my business which is going to take dedication and energy! When I next check in I will be at least 6 pounds lighter and a little bit fitter!

Grand Finale - 5 stone - 70 pounds (31.8kg)

My pursuit of happiness has finally completed its first chapter! In my final weigh in on the last week of the second part of the programme, I have reduced my weight by 5 stone! I was 64.8 pounds when I started the Route to Management programme, which is the final part of the process. Having had the last 3 months to reintroduce food I have reduce my weight by a further 5.2 pounds and am now fully back onto all foods including chocolates! I had lost 5 stone by week 3 on the RTM programme and over the last 9 weeks have put on a few and lost a few but mostly maintained my weight. I have lost a total of 28 inches from my whole body which is phenomenal! Gone from a size 22/24 to a size 16/14.

The pics on the left are on the day I started the Foundation programme on the 17th January 2007. The pics on the right are from the day I finished the RTM programme on the 24th July 2007. 188 days or just over 6 months in total with an average weight reduction of 2.6 pounds per week! Now I know a few people said when I started this programme that I shouldn't lose weight too quickly. 2.6 pounds a week isn't too quick - I think it is very reasonable. Admittedly most of it came off in the first 100 days. This I believe is why this programme has been so successful for me. Rapid weight reduction in the beginning to keep you focused and motivated and allow you opportunity of focusing on what the REAL course of the weight problem - MY THOUGHTS and EMOTIONS! The bad eating habits and choices were learnt over time through lack of knowledge and bad habits picked up my whole life.

The biggest challenge of all is the one in front of me now. I still would like to reduce my weight by another stone. My main reason for this is the fact that it will give me a buffer when I do fall and pick up the additional pounds which will inevitably happen. Also my BMI is still in the unhealthy range and I would like to get fitter and healthier. Therefore I will be having a one-to-one with my councillor tomorrow to discuss my next goal on how to achieve this without making any more drastic changes to my life. I am happy to take the next 5 months to achieve this and then this will be the 2nd chapter or my pursuit to happiness completed. The last and final chapter will be to keep my weight maintained at 13 stone or below for a year at least.

This is my last weekly blog as I will now update every 2-4 weeks on my progress and new things we will be learning in our weekly sessions. The great thing about Lighter Life is they are happy to continue giving you support (for no charge) as long as you feel you need it. I can go to the weekly sessions to get weighed, learn from the counselling sessions and keep my focus on my goal. They are an organisation that really understand weight problems and care enough to keep supporting one for as long as you need them too. I am eternally grateful for this programme and to the fantastic people I have met over the last 6 months. I have made great friends and learnt many new life changing processes. I am really looking forward to embracing my new found confidence, energy and enthusiasm and I hope you will continue the journey with me.

Thank you to my family, friends and colleagues who have all paid a very large part in this successful story of just one person's life who's entire existence has changed forever! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your constant encouragement, support and most of all faith and confidence in me, that I could achieve what I have done! Please continue sending your e-mails and checking back with me in the coming year as your comments and support mean the world! Here's to a fantastic year ahead! x x

Final Week of the Programme

Well what can I say - I can not believe that it has been over 6 months since I started this wonderful programme! Here is a reminder of what I looked like then -these are a little revealing so my apologies, but they are very real!......I will post my final picture next week end as we have our final weigh in and pictures done after 26 weeks on the programme.

I have reduced my weight by 75 pounds and been able to maintain it even now I am fully back to all conventional foods! But the real proof will be when I can post a picture of myself in a year's time and look even better!

This week is chocolate and refined sugar week and I am surprised to find out that I haven't really missed it as much as I thought I had. I still enjoy a peace of chocolate now and then but sweets have always been my soft spot. I am happy to report they are no longer my soft spot and I can enjoy a few and then I have had enough. Really trying to manage myself better even after putting on a pound again last week. Next week will be my final weekly post as I will now continue with the blog on a monthly basis.

Thank you for your sweet e-mails and postings and will catch you again here for the last weekly post.

Change - exciting or scarey?

Hello everyone! This is going to be a short and sweet log today. Reduced my weight a fraction last week.... it was only .8 of a pound but certainly going in the right direction again! Also learnt during our trigger weeks (weeks 8-12) we are not supposed to include the previous weeks trigger food. So now in week 11 I have now discovered this is what I was doing wrong. This week is BREAD week - oooooooooooh normally a big trigger for me but lately I have to say I haven't been craving it at all. Had a piece of toast yesterday and so far so good! But now I can't eat cereal, potatoes, rice, pasta or cheese the whole week!

The topic for the week was CHANGE and how people respond to it. It was interesting to note that all of us in the group in one way another seemed to have changed the way we respond to CHANGE having done the programme compared to the way we were before. Why you ask? Well it is a life changing experience when you have to face your everyday life without the crutch of 'food' to support you. You have to find something in yourself to deal with your emotions rather than turning to an outside source for encouragement, comfort and positiveness. Some of us embrace change and always have but others have struggled but now are will to take the risk and accept change and even enjoy it.

I think this issue is one for not only us but everyone in every day life as the world is changing so fast these days. Embrace change! Take risks! Live and keep moving forward in everything you do. When ever you are in a situation where change is necessary there can only be two results - either............

1 You don't succeed and therefore have to try again which means you will learn something new
2 You succeed and therefore learn something new

Both ways you are moving forward, learning something new and taking a risk. This is what makes life more exciting so embrace it.

When is right time?

Well as you can tell by me updating my blog today, I didn't have the laser eye surgery done on Wednesday. The main reason being that when I got home on Tuesday evening the house was full of dust. Our refurb has started and what a mess! I am not sure what I was expecting but I had no idea it would be so bad. Having said that the builders did try and clean up but such fine dust is difficult to clean. What the house used to look like...................

I was not feeling at all comfortable having my surgery done and then being in a dusty environment for my recovery. When it comes to eyes I think you really need to be very careful to give them the best opportunity to recover quickly and being in such a dusty environment is not recommended. So it has been rescheduled to the 15th of August. Whew! What is looks like now.................

Additionally I have had another trying week with so much going on and as I feared, it was reflected in my weigh in on Tuesday evening. I have gained 2.8 pounds! I have to say I wasn't surprised just very disappointed. With 2 nights of going out and not controlling my drinking or eating this is price I have to pay. At least I recognised what is causing it. I was encouraged to let it go, taking into account this phase of the programme is about maintaining weight and not about reducing it. I said it is also not about gaining it either. So I am trying not to beat myself up about it and get back on track. I am determined to lose it over the next few weeks and really start taking better control of my emotional eating habits. With some of the pressure off now as the building work has now started and not having the eye surgery, I can concentrate on managing myself a little more.

Disappointment is an interesting emotion to deal with ! You not only feel let down, angry but sad all at the same time. And the worst part is I have no one else to blame but MYSELF. I think this type of disappointment is even worse! But this is life - real life - as things are bound to come unstuck sometimes and mistakes will be made. I think the true test is to see how one handles these knocks in life. It is a minor thing but I could make it a huge issue but what would be the point. The truth of the matter is if I picked up 3 pounds a week for 2-4 weeks I would be worried. In the scheme of things reducing my weight by 5 stone and then gaining 2.8 pounds is not really so bad. It is not so much the weight which has affected me but more the fact I am still not in control of my eating habits! Welcome to the REAL world! You do sometimes think that because you have been through this whole process you problems and habits have been CURED or resolved. NOT SO! You just have the knowledge and the will power to manage them better - or so I hope. A bit of a wake up call me thinks! So today and for the last couple of days I have been back onto my food packs and limiting my intake of my triggers which are fruit, alcohol and going out! But I did spoil myself by buying 4 fantastic tops at a great sale and they fit beautifully - still a size 16! Really would like to work towards a size 14 but finding it much harder than I thought it would be! I may decide to go onto a 'development' (4 weeks of abstinence) session after my route to management programme finishes. Not sure if you are allowed to but if I can I think it will refocus me and give me the extra boost I need to get the last stone off!

Well that's it from me this week! I am now off to buy some radiators, doors, extractor fans and a whole load of other goodies for the house. Thank you for all your calls and e-mails of encouragement!